The First Ever Bleacher Creatures Running Diary presented by Taco Bell

Mets-Yankees. Fox Saturday Baseball. Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. Rainy day. Sounds like the perfect time for the Bleacher Creatures first ever running diary. We decided to take a page from the Bill Simmons handbook and record our minute-by-minute thoughts about this afternoon's game. Here's what transpired.

4:14- After a 20 minute or so rain delay, Joe Buck finally greets us to Shea Stadium. As always, he is joined by his spot-on analyst Tim McCarver and extremely insightful sideline reporter Ken Rosenthal. This could be one of the worst three-man teams in all of sports.

4:16- McCarver discusses how the two New York teams are similar because of the balance in their divisions. Buck looks confused, as do the millions of viewers around the country who are watching.

4:19- Today’s game features two marquee pitchers, Johan Santana and Andy Pettite. Fox’s graphic on Santana tells us that one of Santana’s problems is “the long ball.” Normally is for pitchers.

4:20- First pitch strike from Santana. I feel as though every first pitch is called a strike, even if it is a ball. I’m going to keep track from now on.

4:21- Tim McCarver is talking about “invisible injuries.” Shall I say more? I don’t think so.

4:23- There is still a light drizzle at Shea. I’m just waiting for McCarver to say something along the lines of: “Something to keep in mind -- it's raining lightly. The infield could be very wet on ground balls”. I have 4:37 in the Bleacher Creatures office pool. C-LO has 4:45

4:24- McCarver, unedited, “Bobby [Abreu] has always been one of the easier guys in the Major Leagues against to, against, which, against to get (pause) two strikes.” You have to wonder how McCarver has managed to stay employed as a broadcaster for this long.

4:26- Santana looks sharp early. Besides an infield single by Abreu, Johan retires Damon, Jeter, and A-Rod with ease.

4:28- For some reason, Fox has picked Danilo Gallinari to share with us the Mets lineup. Gallinari struggles and finishes the lineup by saying “Everybody hello, and come to the (pause) New York Knicks games.” Thanks Danilo!

4:30- Journeyman Jacinto Damion Easley steps to the plate. Just to share with those members of the Damion Easley fan club, Easley has played for the California Angels, Detriot Tigers, Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Florida Marlins, Arizona Diamondbacks, and New York Mets. He has never been in the playoffs, and holds the unwelcome record among active players as the one who had played the most games without reaching the postseason (1,593 games).

4:32- Pettitte blows his perfect game by walking Easley. Dammnit, I thought this was the day for Pettitte.

4:35- McCarver shares with us that Jerry Manuel can quote Mahatma Ghandi. I’m not sure what to do with this information.

4:37- Pettitte in early trouble. After retiring Reyes, he has walked two in a row. Up to the plate steps Beltran, a switch hitter with only one homerun from the right side of the plate. (out of 12 on the season). Seems to me that he should just stick to batting lefty. Just a thought.

4:39- Pettitte fans Beltran and then gets Delgado to fly out. Classic Pettite. Walk two mediocre players and then retire the big guns with relative ease.

4:41- For those keeping score at home, Joe Buck has plugged Taco Bell by reminding us to “Think Outside the Bun” 3 times so far. We’ll be keeping count as the game progresses.

4:42- Jason Giambi, who is known around our office as “The Dancing Bear”, steps to the plate. Giambi has been sporting a classic moustache lately, and Buck says the he looks like he’s come from a casting call for Starsky and Hutch. To us, he looks like more like he has come from a casting call for Bangbus.

4:43- I accidentally change to channel to TNT, which is showing Jurassic Park. I take 10 seconds pondering whether to bust out the Smart Pop and view the film, but I decide to switch back to the game. Of course it erased my TiVO feed, so now it automatically re-updates to the right point in the game. Whatever.

4:49- Fernando Tatis at the dish. Tatis is the only player in major league history to hit two grand slams in one inning. Other than that, he sucks.

4:50- After the obligatory Fernando Tatis groundout, Buck throws it over to Jeanie Zelasko for a in-game update.

4:53- Ramon Castro leaves the building and he rounds the bases as Soulja Boy Tell Em's “Crank That Soulja Boy” blasts over the PA System. I would have guessed his home run music would be some sort of Latino reggaeton, but hey life’s full of surprises, including how Ramon Castro just went yard

4:54- McCarver tells us that Castro is one of the more powerful 8th-place hitters in the National League. He has two homeruns on the year. Great insight, Tim!

4:56- Pettitte ends the inning with the inevitable Johan Santana strikeout. As Michael Kay would say “one run, one hit, no errors, we go to the top of the 3rd, one-nothing Mets.”

4:58- McCarver keeps informing us about the difference in speed between Santanta’s fastball and changeup. More than once he has said “It doesn’t matter if the fastball is fast, as long as there is disparity between it and the changeup.”

5:00- McCarver hasn’t said anything in about 2 minutes. This is surprising. We learn why when Fox cuts to a shot of him sitting in the booth with a glove on and explaining the difference between a fastball and changeup. It seems as though Tim had to go get the glove for this informative demonstration. Or maybe he just fell asleep. You decide.

5:03- Santana looks good. Very good. Through 3 innings, he has given up one hit (an infield single to Abreu) and struck out five. Damn.

5:08- Ken Rosenthal is possibly one of the worst sideline reporters ever. He can’t even read off of a script. Just adds to the poorness of this three-man crew.

5:10- Whenever McCarver begins a sentence with “If I were an owner of a major league team…”, you know you can stop listening for a second (actually, normally a few minutes)

5:12- First base umpire Mike Dimuro, who is sporting a classic pair of Jason Phillips sunglasses, rings up Beltran on a check swing. Beltran has struck out twice so far. Refer to the 4:37 post so I don’t have to repeat myself.

5:16- Normally you use the verb crisp to describe the weather in fall. Tim McCarver uses it to describe Santana. That’s what makes him so different. That and his stupidity.

5:18- Jerry Manuel tells us that he “loves baseball.” Figures. Aren’t you tired of players and coaches saying they love the sport they play/coach? Seems to me that they should love the sport- that’s why they are playing it.

5:21- Santana gets into trouble for the first time by walking Jeter and Abreu in succession. Up to the plate steps A-Rod. What a matchup. One of the game’s best hitters facing one of the game’s best pitchers in what could be considered a clutch situation.

5:23- A-Rod singles to shallow left to load the bases. It’s now Dancing Bear time. This is exciting people!

5:25- Giambi shatters his bat on a ground-out to Reyes. Jeter still scores and the game is tied, 1-1. That marks the sixth time the Yankees have scored on a groundout in the past two days in three games against the Mets. Not very promising, but a run’s a run.

5:27- McCarver, unedited: “Sometimes as a pitcher, you pitch yourself into a situation where you have to pitch to a hitter.” Thank god Tim’s here to explain the more complex parts of the game.

5:30- Posada’s sac fly gives the Yankees a 2-1 lead. McCarver compliments Jorge on being able to get the ball deep enough to score a run. Tim, normally that’s the objective.

5:34- Bill Simmons refers to Carlos Delgado as Pedro Cerrano, the slugger from the Major League series. That’s why Bill is the best.

5:36- Buck is stuck on the fact that it is getting darker outside yet the lights are still not on at Shea. I am stuck on the fact of why he cares.

5:40- Jeter makes an error on Fernando Tatis’s sharp grounder, and then in the next at-bat ends the inning in classic Derek Jeter fashion with a 6-3 double play

5:45- Ken Rosenthal once again proves why he is the worst sideline reporter in sports as he discusses the Yankees bullpen. Why Fox keeps him on board instead of an Erin Andrews-esque figure is mind-boggling.

5:50- Remember when the Padres and Rockies played 22 innings last year. We decided to re-read about that epic marathon instead of watching Santana bat against Pettitte. It was certainly more exciting

5:55- Fox’s audio feed keeps going in and out. McCarver is probably pressing random buttons. Explains why he hasn’t said anything in the past 5 minutes.

5:58- McCarver finally speaks and struggles to say the word formidable. I giggled.

5:59- Pettitte’s insane pick-off move ends the Mets threat as he guns out Reyes at second base. Awesome.

6:07- McCarver still hasn’t commented on the rain and its affect on the field. I’m shocked. Fox probably give him a big sign saying “DON’T COMMENT ON THE RAIN TIM. PLEASE DON”T SAY ANYTHING STUPID ABOUT THE RAIN.”

6:09- Santana balks! I love it. I still don’t understand the rule and how to determine it, but it is still exciting.

6:11- Umpire and today’s crew chief Tim McClellan looks confused as he is trying to figure out the rain pattern.

6:13- McCarver continues to press buttons and now is messing with the video feed as well.

6:16- Cano rips a single into right, through the “wet infield” as McCarver describes it (kind of counts as a rain-infield comment) and scores A-Rod. 3-1 Yanks.

6:19- As Timbaland’s “The Way I Are” blasts over the PA system, the grounds crew roll out the tarp! We are a rain delay. In the first ever Bleacher Creatures running diary, they are in a rain delay. Even Simmons has never done a running diary of a game that has gone into a rain delay. This is legendary.

6:20- In Simmons’s running diary of the Quadruple-A Game 7 (a.k.a 2006 NLCS Game 7), he comments: “Just for the record, in nine and a half years of writing running diaries, I've never had one interrupted by a rain delay. What would happen? Would I keep the diary going? Would I go on a delay? Do I have to stand underneath a canopy outside my house until the game is resumed?” We are simply going to go on a delay as well, especially because Fox has switched to the Cubs-White Sox game. Normally this wouldn’t be a bad thing, except that Mark Grace is one of the commentators. So, we’re just gonna take a break. We’ll let you know when we rejoin Buck and McCarver.

6:53- Jeanie Zelasko emphatically reports that the tarp is coming off and first pitch should be expected around 7:10. Thanks Jeanie!

7:08- We are back with Buck and McCarver. Boy am I excited.

7:10- Back to action, with a first pitch ball from Pettitte.

7:12- Wright rips one that hits the left field foul pole and rounds the bases to music that you would probably hear at the Chicago Gay Pride parade.

7:15- Pettite has four strikeouts on the nights, three of them on Beltran. I rest my case about the 4:37 post.

7:16- We go to the seventh after the obligatory Fernando Tatis groundout. 3-2 Yanks.

7:20- Wilson Betemit pinch hits for Pettitte and swings just like him, striking out on a pitch in the dirt.

7:25- One-two-three for reliever Pedro Feliciano in the top of the seventh. Due up for the Mets: Phillips, Castro, and Feliciano. Dangerous.

7:26- Jose Veras in for relief. He is facing Luis Castillo, who is pinch-hitting for Phillips. Castillo inevitably pops out to Jeter for out number one.

7:30- Pinch-hitting specialist Marlon Anderson comes to the plate for Feliciano. The move befuddles McCarver and he then proceeds to befuddle everyone watching by complicatedly explaining that the Mets should have gone with Endy Chavez instead. Of course, he makes this explanation twice, as if we didn’t hear him the first time (then again, most people probably zoned out the first time).

7:33- Anderson proves why is one of the most prolific pinch hitters of all time by singling up the middle. Reyes then pops out to Jeter for the final out of the inning.

7:40- McCarver tells us that he had the honor of catching Tom Seaver in the 1967 All-Star game. No one cares, but of course he continues to tell us stories about the game.

7:47- Some great defensive switches for the Yankees. Farnsworth is now toeing the rubber, Jose Molina is catching, and Georgie Posada moves to 1st base. I’m just hoping Molina can do something in the next three half innings so we can play America’s favorite game “Name that Molina” tonight on Baseball Tonight.

7:50- McCarver exclaims that Wright has had a great day, and then proceeds to highlight his two fly-outs to Melky Cabrera and Johnny Damon. Buck saves him by throwing in that Wright indeed did get a hit, a home-run in fact. I think Tim missed that one.

7:54- Beltran strikes out…batting from the left side. Clearly he’s having a bad day, but I still believe he sucks batting from the right.

7:59- The journeyman Easley makes a nice catch on a Cabrera line drive. He can add that to his career highlight reel, which probably contains around three or four clips up to this point.

8:02- Fox just features a great player profile on Damon. Apparently his Favorite Athlete to Watch: Sidney Crosby, his Favorite TV Show Growing Up: “Family Ties”, he is Annoyed By: Slow drivers in the fast line, and he Would Like to Meet: Ronald Regan. I’m not sure what to do with this information, but I chuckled anyway.

8:04- As pitching coach Dan Warthen makes his way out to the mound I notice that he wears the same glasses that Jerry Manuel does. I wonder if Manuel has made this a clubhouse requirement for all players who wear glasses now that he is manager. It’s a developing story.

8:07- Mariano enters (notice how I don’t deem it necessary to use a last name when referring to him). His stats are scary. 21 for 21 on save opportunities. 0.76 ERA. Even Joe Buck admits that he is the best in the game.

8:08- Two pitches, two swinging strikes against Delgado. Buck says he is filthy. I agree. It is one of the few times I have agreed with Joe Buck.

8:10- Delgado goes down swinging. McCarver exclaims that Mo wore him out. It was only a four pitch at-bat, so I find it hard to believe that Mo wore him out. One has to wonder what goes on in the mind of Tim McCarver.

8:12- After the obligatory Fernando Tatis fly-out, Trot Nixon strides to the plate and represents the final out of the game.

8:13- Nixon quickly falls behind 0-2. Standard when Trot Nixon is batting. Standard when Mariano Rivera is pitching.

8:14- Nixon is rung up and the Yankees win. Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Yankees win!"

8:15- Joe Buck bids us adieu. McCarver says nothing. He has already left. It’s Bingo Night at the Fox Studio. McCarver is going to mentally prepare and try to remember what Bingo is.

8:16- It’s been over four hours, but finally the first ever Bleacher Creatures running diary is complete. In the words of the immortal Michael Kay, “We thank you for letting us into your homes.”